Banner Image for Episode 261: Movies Are Too Long: Part One

Episode 261: Movies Are Too Long: Part One

It’s Friday and you’re looking forward to the weekend. You have nothing planned, so you’re looking forward to just relaxing at home, maybe doing a little yardwork, but nothing serious when your phone pings. Your heart sinks as you read over the notification. It’s the government backed cultural department. You’ve been selected for this weekend’s mandatory viewing of the new Marvel movie to help stimulate the economy and prop up the failing movie industry. The requisite $25 ticket price has already been deducted from your account. You consider skipping out anyway. They already have their money, right? But you don’t want to have to deal with appearing in court to contest the noncompliance citation you’d incur. So you go to the movie. How bad could it be, right? Just a couple hours of mind-numbing entertainment starring people with all the free time in the world. You sit in the dark movie theatre, a bowl of government issued pop corn in front of you ($15 deducted automatically from your account) and watch as the title drops. Avengers: The Longest War: Part One flashes on screen along with the FCC mandated run time listed very tiny in the bottom right corner. Your heart sinks further as you read 1 Day, 23 hours, 30 minutes. Chris Pratt appears on the screen and laughs. You know it was probably in the script for him to laugh, but it feels as though he is laughing at you, you poor, poor fool.