Monthly Archives: September 2017

Episode 73: Kneeful Things

John’s back on his philosophy BS this week, as the boys discuss– Wait. Did you hear that? I guess it’s nothing. Yeah. Ok. Um. Anyway, John has been reading some French stuff about loneliness or whatever, so Henry– Ok I definitely heard something that time. Like… A whining noise maybe. One second.
It must be the plumbing. Or. Or something. So Henry and John talk about the artistry of an effective protest, while contrasting that with the asymmetrical reaction to said protest and… This… They uh… They do a What Did You Watch and John… Ok. Let’s start this description again. Power through. John’s back on his philoAAAAAGG OH NO IT’S A SCARE A SCARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EPISODE DESCRIPTION OH JEEZ IT’S TERRIBLE HOW SCARY THIS IS MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE WITH SCARES MY SKIN IT IS SO HOT FROM SCARES STAY TUNED NEXT MONTH FOR MORE OF THIS OK LOVE YOU BYE ZERO CREDIT(S) BYE0


Episode 72: 15,000 Dollar Shirt

Well, Dear Listeners, we’re closing in fast on the last few weeks of September, the last few weeks of safety. This week, Henry and John discuss a lot of dark, dreary stuff, but it’s nothing compared to what’s coming. Recent earthquakes in Mexico, being more mindful in how you choose to spend your money, the Emmy’s. These are a few of the things they talk about, but believe me when I tell you that dark days are ahead of us. I’ve become numb to it all, but the pay is too good to leave this job and part of me secretly hopes I can do something to prevent what’s ahead. Ultimately, I know I will fail, but it’s this thought of hope that keeps me moving forward. Keep moving forward, Listeners. Everything has eyes.

Episode 71: Bye Bye Identity

Let’s just put this up front: you GOTTA care about this Equifax thing. I’m in serious trouble if Henry and John find out I’m not weaving this into a mirthsome episode description, but you GOTTA take steps to prevent your identity being stolen. Even if you’re just giving this podcast the ole 71 Try and you’ve seen this description before you start listening, delay your podcast listening session and call people, freeze your credit reports, go to Bellarmine College Preparatory in San Jose, graduate and go to Harvard, become an American author of comic books and crime novels, and write a script for a movie so narratively inept that it’s director is blackballed from directing the next installment of a tent pole cross-media franchise. And also check your credit report. Then you should be good. Zero Credit(s)!


Episode 70: Cravin’ that Dairy Queen Gravy

Listeners, it’s time we had a little talk. As the official description writer of the Zero Credit(s) episodes, I feel it’s my place to warn you that this episode has a level of spookiness that, frankly, makes me uncomfortable. I am not a cowardly man or woman by any means, but this episode sent chills down my spine. Creepy happenings at fast food restaurants. Possibly satirical pop/rock songs about manhood. Video games featuring radio ghosts. It’s all here and it will frighten you as it frightened me. I’m seriously contemplating sending in my two week’s notice if they continue down this road of spookiness. I hear they’re planning something for October and I just don’t know if I have it in me to press on. Well, you’ve been warned. Listen at your own risk.

Episode 69: Frankie Says Be ‘Fraid

I don’t know what I’ve been told, Henry’s getting pretty old. Sound off. One, two. Howdy, Fashionistros and Fashionettes, to this comma-laden episode of Zero Credit(s). Henry, and John, like, discuss the warm glow altruism of birthday well-wishing, and subsequently devise the greatest birthday gaslighting campaign of the century. John, then, gripes about how fashion is expensive and how he’ll never afford shorts. On this week’s installment of What’s Happening in Game of Thrones, Henry gently reminds John that he remembers nothing from the books. John and Henry have made it a condition of their joint will that upon death, all of their unreleased podcasts will be fired into the sun. Seems kinda excessive, but hey will’s are like genies so WE CAN’T ARGUE. Put on your best reverse psychology shirt; it’s time for ZERO CREDIT(S).