Through the old rusted pipes of Skype come we, dear Listeners, in this episode of our time-honored podcast. Henry and John are charged up and drop some politically charged knowledge about the state of our nation, the people in charge of it, and how not tolerating “alternative facts” is the new Uncle Sam. They then rewrite the Spiderman theme to better reflect the eight-eyed supervillian’s true colors after John regales us of his harrowing trip to the optometrist. Anna Karenina is mentioned as we dive into the meat of movie magic, with special correction reports from the field by special person-in-the-room-but-not-formally-on-the-episode Jamie. Someone remind us to talk about Star Wars before the episode is over, please, as we will forget before time is up. John really has a lot to say about Star Wars this week, and we wouldn’t want to miss out on what promises to be the best content we have ever produced for the show. No seriously, just reach out and talk to us during the show and remind us to talk about Star Wars. We’re going to get lost in our political talk and Spiderman theme rewrite. So don’t be afraid to just shout out to us as you’re listening to remind us to talk about gee dee Star Wars.
Join Henry and John as they venture into The Cyber, having left their physical forms behind. In this new digital age, old standards of discourse are a relic of times gone by, leaving The Cyber Boys to blast open the flood gates of Internet Babies, Regular Babies, and the monetization of babies. In what might be the most unwittingly ironic event of 2017 (thus far), John openly discusses his desire to become a person who capitalizes on his desires rather than just talking about them. John talks about Star Wars for like 4 hours. Skip. The Boys then discuss, Unfortunately, a Series of Events which one might consider to be Lemony… and uh, S… Snicket. Moving on. BONUS: what’s marriage all about, anyway? Find out tonight, on a brand new episode of Zero Credit(s)!
Listeners, we’ve got some sad news in this, our last full episode of 2016. Consequences of our actions finally come to pasture as Henry is forced out of town in accordance to the ancient laws of Best/Worst competitions. But first, one last blast of capital G, capital C Good Content. John is manic as he has consumed some of the Devil’s Bean and it’s up to our Hero Henry to reign him in. Or at least try to. We bounce from topic to topic, searching for truth and something real to hold on to, but all we find are circles. We’re going the long way round, folks. Mosey on with us to the end, it’s Zero Credit(s).
Hey listeners, Henry and John set out this week to have a bad episode and boy do they just have all the egg on their faces. But first, John explains the concept of Bigger Luke in great detail and thoroughness to the point that it both confuses and enrages Henry. We then take a trip down the memory lane to the video store and reflect on what it means to have too many options, not that we’d ever want them stripped away. Hey, hey, then we play a fun Star Wars game. Can you guess the thing? Probably. VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES. Henry then, tired of all the nerd stuff, introduces what next the episode is going to be about. Help us determine what to determine as Best/Worst of 2016! Go to Facebook and suggest a category!
Hey there dedicated fans! It’s Thanksgiving in the Zero Credit(s) household, or well, really it’s not. Thanksgiving is for families and we’re more of a loosely constructed conglomerate of coolness, so we’re wishing you one hip Coolsgiving instead. Let’s all give Cool Thanks to the things we enjoy most, that also happen to be cool. (Description writer here, I forgot the notepad, so I’ll have to guess what else is in the episode, don’t tell John or Henry. They can’t read inside parentheses so they won’t know I said this). We then transition into another cool segment and then another one. Probably involving like movies or I don’t know, art? It’s a good episode. It’s one for the holidays. Gobble it up.
The moratorium on political discussion in the Zero Credit(s) offices remains lifted just long enough for a post-mortem to the 2016 presidential election to slink in. Freed from their obligation to remain timely or relevant, the boys discuss Satanism (or symbols which may imply Satanism) for a time. Then, Henry squanders his one chance at time travel to resurrect a long dead segment just for a chance to discuss Dan Harmon’s Anomalisa. To close out the evening, an otherwise innocuous listener topic descends into an examination of ironic consumerism. Strap on your mildly interesting hats. It’s time.
This episode begins with a tale of two intros, as we can’t claim to predict the future. We then dive into the horrible world of politics, maybe for the last time, as big things shake up our questionable nation. Let it be known, we do show bias here, some for comedy and some for real. We never claimed to be journalists. We then dive into a new segment known as Mystical Magical Bullshit, where John poses us a question to ponder while also supplying all the knowledge that we need to be able to answer the question. Then the episode kind of just devolves into World War Z and video games, because like, man, we were kind of apprehensive for what was to come. Give it a listen. We hope to make you laugh or think or something. If you like it, share it. And know we will be back next week with an even better episode, because of the battle of trying to get people to be more informed will never end, just like the ceaseless release of movies, books, and video games (and I suppose music, too).
Listeners, it’s time, time indeed
For another Zero Credit(s) HalloSCREAM!
Now this might come as quite a shock,
As the boys launch into TV talk,
But don’t you worry, close your eyes,
Cuz Dylan’s won that Nobel Prize.
In dark abyss you’ll soon be falling
Pondering ’bout texting vs. calling,
And then you’ll ask, at your own risk:
“What can I make now with a whisk?”
So grab your wigs and let’s get spooky,
And wonder about horror movies.
This year’s ‘sode is really somethin’
ANY WORD THAT RHYMES WITH PUMPKIN.
Music:
A Remix of Spooky, Scary, Skeltons from The Skeleton Dance
THIS TIME ON ZER0 CREDIT[S]: Henry and John sit hunched in a dark room, sheltered momentarily from the approach of the Yard Men. FADE IN: Henry and John talk some about books and the words contained therein. SMASH CUT: to an at once riveting and misinformed exploration of ennui vs anomie. REVERSE SHOT: what’s up with all the nihilist memes. BANG! ZOOM! STRAIGHT TO THE: PoliTalk (forbidden segment do not listen). We’re back, babies. Zero Credit(s) chapter 2 starts here. Don’t dog-ear.
Listener, the ZC boys have been on a journey. After being ousted from the safe-haven of Google Drive, Zero Credit(s) was forced to exist offline for quite some time, and boy did they take advantage of the situation. With the freedom that comes with no consequences, we tear into other podcasts who fall short of their promised goals. But let’s not talk about that (#ZeroCreditsMarcMaronBeef, #ZeroCreditsHowDidThisGetMadeBeef). Instead, let’s talk about why people love Halloween so much. I mean, people turning into Jackerlanterns? That’s strange. But is it as strange as John’s new segment where he quizzes Henry’s academic skills? We’re not sure. All we know is, if you have famous friends, you’re obligated to put them in all of your projects. Follow us on Facebook; follow us to Blubrry; follow us as we dive into the murky waters of Pirate Podcast Radio!
Featured Music:
Drop A Day’s “Pug Attack”
And some CCTV footage of a Czech police siren