Category Archives: Zero Credit(s)

The main episodes of the show.

Episode 134: Barely Medieval

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The rains in Austin continue unabated, so you know what that means: another drizzly, weird episode. Fams of the show will recall that rainy weather, for one reason or another, always results in The Boys getting a little loopy, and this week is no different. John’s drinking again, so that in itself bodes poorly for your listening experience. As an amuse bouche, Henry and John give their EXCORIATING semi-spoiler-free review of the last two week’s episodes of the Bad Dragon Show, along with some Hotted Takes about spoiler culture (for short, spoitlure). You know, the books had so many more elements that the show just can’t portray. Circuitous backroom dealings, backstabbing, horrible exploitation of inherent power dynamics, characters of questionable age. Thankfully, all of those elements can be found in Borderlands 3’s most recent news (ALLEGEDLY), which The Boys spend the remainder of the episode discussing. Buckle up your pilgrim helmet, it’s Zero Credit(s)!

 

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Episode 133: INT. A 1960’S NEW ORLEANS SPEAKEASY – TITAN

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It’s a root(beer)in’ toot(beer)in’ good time in the Podcrypt this week. In the most non-alcoholic episode in months (years?), John finally tips his hand and reveals that he knows entirely too much about the crowded Democratic presidential candidate field, horrifying Henry and any potential listeners. Henry and John flex their no-credentials muscles by discussing TAX LAW because this show was too listenable apparently. But just you wait little piggies, because it’s all worth it for the end. A journey a decade in the making is coming to an end, and The Boys are going to use their combined years of high level narrative meta-analysis to totally unravel the PATHETICALLY THIN plot of Marble’s Envengers: Andgame. Strap on your Infinity Things, idiots, because this week we’re going to the Universe of Bugs ON ZERO CREDIT(S)!

 

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Episode 132: Starn Wars Rise of the Bad Titles

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It’s been five years. The Galactic Order marches on. Rey has been doing push ups for three years straight. Who is Rose? This is the voyage of the J.J. Abraprise. To boldly retread the ground that others have tread so well before. The boys are heading to space to discuss all the fast paced, starkiller based news as Star Wars Celebration 2019 happened last week and boy is twitter a battleground. While fans of the series gathered to share their passions and love for this decades long journey, the twitter trolls crawled out from under their groady wooden bridges to harp on the fact that “literal terrorist” Rian Johnson had already killed the time-honored story and no amount of J.J. could fix what that alleged “non-figurative monster” had done. Rian responded as any ill-acting citizen would, with complete and utter joy and love for the series. So who’s in the right? Is The Last Jedi a good movie? Should we be excited for this poorly named Episode IX? We discuss it all this week, and less! on Zero Credit(s) Podcast.

 

Also for some reason John decided to play the theme music just like directly over Henry’s joke this week and we’re not sure if it’s an artistic choice or he hated the joke. You decide!

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Episode 131: I’m All Out of Urine

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Well howdy, stranger. It’s been quite some time since someone visited our lil podcast ranch. Well grab a cup of rye and rest your bones. It’s a hard life out on the trail, no one knows that better than I do. Let me and my horse-rearin’, couch-sittin’ padres spin you a yarn, take your mind off the gila monsters and self-employment. You ever heard of a cowpoke by the name of Lil Nas X? His story is a winding one, full of rustling gatekeepers and intersectionality and TikTok videos. We’ve also picked up a couple tales of this fella named “the Joker,” who everybody seems to care about but for the wrong reasons. Horse tack. Cowboy boots. Et cetera. Giddyapp, Zero Credit(s) doggies.

 

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Episode 130: Post Vacation Land

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John’s back from vacation and boy are his arms tired. Where’d he go? He’ll tell you. In fact, he may talk about it for nearly the entire episode. You guys ready to hear about Disney World? Well buckle up, folks, cause that’s what this episode is all about. Also a surprise Supplemental Reading of The Fast and Furious Supercharged Experience ride to round out our favorite series ever, the FFCU SupRed series, which you should total check out if you haven’t already. Henry then rants about the Epic Games Store for 30 minutes past when we should have stopped the recording resulting in super bonus content! Don’t get used to these hour and a half episodes though. Cause we need the space.

It’s all here and more and maybe even a little less in this week’s Zero Credit(s)!

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Episode 129: The Twitter Mysteries (ft. Jeff)

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John’s out on vacation so it’s up to Henry to save this podcast one last time. And he’s getting too old for this sh*t, so the agency assigns him a partner. Now we all know that Henry is a rule abiding, by-the-book cop, so it’s a bit of a curveball when he’s assigned to young-gun rookie straight out of the academy of bloodlust, Jeff. It’s a roaring good time for the whole family, just as long as you all have the same political beliefs and feelings about politicians using Twitter. It’s all here and more in this hour and a half special of Zero Credit(s).

 

Note: We used Zencastr to record this interview-styled podcast and it had a few kinks that we didn’t know until after the recording. You may notice Jeff’s mic cut-out for absolutely no reason when I happen to talk over him. We have since fixed this, but we could not apply it retroactively, so it still persists in this episode. Future interview episodes should be fine though.

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Episode 128: Disney Owns Everything Ft. James Gunn Control

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It’s a new room and new show, folks, as Henry and John wrestle with technical difficulties and dropped audio. For those of you who do not know, dropped audio is a phenomenon in which audio that is supposed to be recorded just isn’t for some reason. Like the waveform (visual representation of recorded sound) looks fine besides some stuttering (visual lag), but when we stopped, there were just gaps of unrecorded audio. To combat this, Henry digs out that time honored and fam-favorite Ultra-Powerful, but Ultimately Shackled Fiendly Neighborhood Exposition Bot to plug those gaps. Also this entire episode is about Marvel and Disney and the return of James Gunn. Like, there’s a lot more covered, but really besides that and talking about Burger King in what sounds like an advertisement (we assure it is not), it’s just Disney and Marvel all the way down, folks. And with the Disney/Fox merger happening literally hours after this recording, we might just cover Disney again next week. Since you know, they ARE entertainment now.

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Episode 127: Don’t Draw My Wife or: Umm… Howoh??

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After an extended illness-and-Vegas-driven hiatus, the Boys are back to tackle their most challenging task: recording on an off-day. So you guys already know this is gonna be a weird one. I once read that there is a mental condition that when someone listens to people describing symptoms of being sick, they start to feel sick themselves. If you have that condition: SORRY. I regret to inform you that there is a classic Extended Riff on the flu and flu-like symptoms and boy it’s gross. However, if you happen to have a mental condition that benefits you upon hearing people joyously discuss Nintendo: you’re in luck! Because John finally bought a g-d Switch, so it’s all he can talk about. Now, on the other hand, if you have the specific mental condition that makes you the person who redesigned Sonic the Hedgehog for his upcoming movie, John is here to give you a royal dressing-down. It’s a real roller coaster for people with mental conditions, I guess. And despite on of the two hosts getting Literally Married and going to Literal Nevada, the Boys round it out by talking about brands crossing the line between relatable and despicable. The Zero Credit(s) podcast is ready. Draw her in your style.

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Episode 126: What Didn’t We Watch (ft. Jamie)

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John is sick. He may *sob* never record again. At least for this week, which is why for the first time ever, a ZCPC episode was recorded without him. This is an historic moment, one whose implications may very well echo all the way to next week. When Henry won’t be able to record. Anyway, scrambling to find a cohost, Henry did what he always does. He asked his fiancee. Soon to be wife. Like tomorrow to be wife. And as she’s done before, she said yes. She would love to be on the podcast. And so this happened. Jamie is here, Henry is here, John is not. They discuss the Oscars and what movies probably deserve to be there more so than others, all of which Henry and Jamie have not actually seen. Who the hell cares about A Star is Born? Who is that movie for?

I once met Bradly Cooper in a bar in Copenhagen on a Wednesday night in the Spring of 1995. I was sitting at the bar, minding my own business, when he sat next to me. He said in a low voice so that no one else could hear him, “Hey. My name’s Bradly Cooper. In 24 years, I’m going to direct a movie called A Star is Born with Lady Gaga and myself as lead actors.”  He looked around the bar to see if anyone else heard. But we were alone. Not even the bartender was there. He leaned back in. “You better go see it, buddy. Else I’ll be back. I’ll stab your dog, man. I’m not kidding. You better go fuckin’ see it. I have a knife, buddy. A real, big knife. And I went to classes to learn how to use it. I got my knife license, if you know what I mean. I paid out the ass for that license. I’ll stab your dog and then I’ll stab you. Go see my movie. Go see my fuckin’ moving. I’m not kidding. You think this is a joke?” He moved his jacket aside and I saw he had a large knife tucked into his belt loop. “Go see my movie. Go. Go now. Go to a theater and wait 24 years for my movie. I have things to do. I need to graduate acting school and star in Wet Hot American Summer. I have plans. But you go to the theater. I’ll call up theaters randomly and if you’re not there, waiting for my movie, I’ll be back. With my knife. And I’ll stab your dog.” He got up and was gone into the Copenhagen night. That encounter stuck with me for a long time and I’d think of him whenever I did manage to pop into a theater. Over all, I thought he was a nice guy. Cause he didn’t really escalate his threats and I’ve never had a dog.

It’s all here! On Zero Credit(s)!

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Episode 125: The Fresh Prince Blues

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Wedding bells are ringing in the distance. The Wedding Party is bearing down on our position. We’ve put up a good fight, but I don’t know how much longer we’ll last. Nuptials are imminent. In this episode, John tries to wring some amount of discussion out of the existence of Blue Will Smith, but Henry has seen ALL THE MEMES and does not wish to entertain the subject further, robbing listeners of untold joy. Then, the Boys are going on vacation! John, to the most magical place on Earth: Disney World! Henry, to some kind of wet clown dance in a desert. Marvel as Henry dishes out his top picks for Disney magic. Gasp as John recounts spinning apple ride horror stories. Tremble with anger as neither host mentions your favorite Disney attraction. It’s a whole new world just around the river bend Olaf, this week on Zero Credit(s)!

 

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