Howdy folks, we’re back from our Fourth of July Break with a new episode for your thirsty, thirsty ears. Speaking of fireworks, aren’t they one of the weirdest approximations of war we use to celebrate how free from war we are? Or are we free at all? Hm. We then talk Wolff’s Law as John and Henry pledge to be the strongest, most adaptive things on the planet, and hopefully in a good way. Then J and H take a The Break featuring Merry Kitchen by Joystick off their new album Sinceriously before getting back to the grind of Baby Driver. Go see Baby Driver in theaters. Buy Baby Driver on BluRay and DVD. Become Baby Driver in real life and drive cars while listening to music and time everything perfectly to the songs you’re listening to. Baby Driver. We’re on social media.
Music:
Merry Kitchen – Joystick
(off their album Sinceriously) Bandcamp
It’s a personal week here at Zero Credit(s) as the Henry and John head into the depths of recent loss and the process of insurance claim procedure for the tragic demise of Henry’s Scion Tc. This discussion naturally leads to Austin, TX, as all roads do, where we find the ZC boys have spent quite a lovely weekend together in the blazing heat that is the Austin Summer of 100 Degrees. Somewhere along the line, John forgets that he desperately wanted to talk about legendary Australian sketch comedy group Aunty Donna and starts talking about G-Gundam, a show with boxing robot piloted by a cheap knock off of Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier. Isn’t it kind of weird that he’s “king” of the wild frontier in a country that’s notorious for not liking kings? Wait, how did we allow Burger King to exist this long? It’s tragically too late for any more Aunty Donna description, so I guess we’ll discuss them next time. Sorry Broden, Mark, and Zach, we ran out of time. It’s all going down and around town, right here on Zero Credit(s)!
Everybody who’s has ever entertained the idea of entering into an exclusive something something alliteration John has to leave now it’s a good episode trust me bye love you.
It’s fidget spinner o’clock on this culturally frozen episode of Zero Credit(s), and Henry and John are gonna dig deep. The specter of famed actor Terry Crews darkens the ZC doorstep once again this week, haunting the boys with visions of furniture and happiness. His specter is no match, however, for that of the Time Ghost, but the crew dispatches that ghoul just the same by wondering at the meaning of meaningless objects. To round out a pretty square podcast, What Did You Watch is back in FULL EFFECT with Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang’s exceptional Master of None. By the way, John had to Google what “NEAT” meant. C’mon.
Listeners, Henry’s been getting headaches every day this week and headaches put Henry in a mental fog. You won’t be able to tell, since he is a performer, after all, but deep down in his head there lies the ebbing of an ache that dulls the senses to anything that’s not a slightly throbbing pain. And John’s here to pick up some of Henry’s slack. So this episode is a bit weird because of that. Renaissance Fairs, Wikipedia Games, Race, we discuss it all. I’m not knocking this episode. It’s the GC Zero Credits content you’ve come to know and enjoy, and there’s always better stuff coming.
In their latest bid to obtain magic genie powers, Henry (Dave Schehazared) and John (Florence Grimble) cook up a harebrained new holiday: Monkey Japes. Join them as they tell a series of meaningless lies all in the name of sweet exotic magic. Move over Justin Arbor Day and Mr. Boston Cream Pie Day, these fellas are shakin’ it up. Much like John is shakin’ up his career with supplemental income, and Henry is shakin’ up your mind with invasive thoughts of chronic Lyme disease. Fill your heart with joyous mistruths, this week on Zer… (Action/Adventure, Animated, Brief Nudity, Prolonged Nudity)
Woah howdy there, ya’ll, it’s time for the Zero Credit(s) Round Up! All the Gang’s here. Henry. John. The Sexy Executive Officer. We’ve got them all and they’ve got some grand ole fun for you, Dear Listener. It all starts when John explains that life is all just one big drinking game where you have to wager whether your card is black or red. Yep, that’s all life is. End of story. We then briefly reveal where Henry lives to showcase Master Pancake Theatre, but don’t worry about that cause the wild west isn’t nothin’ if it ain’t supportin’ Free Comic Book Day. Before you can even begin to flip that silver dollar to render it worthless by shooting through it, thus demonstrating both your sharpshooting skills and your opinions about centralized, government controlled currency, we’re boot deep in the Great British Bake Off. The calvary’s here and the Zero Credit(s) is as well, it’s high time for some podcast crime. Westerns.
Zero Credit(s) VR Experience Patch Notes 05/05/2017
– Fixed issue with horses
– Nobility has been reduced
– Added full simulation of cold medicine
– Improved writing of Christopher Nolan
– No longer possible to wiggle and fall through the earth
– Dreams may be closer than they appear
– Removed final rogue podcast
– Removed Marc Maron from simulation
– Fire no longer speaks
– Added civil unrest functionality
– Fixed crash issue when eating at THAT Starbucks. You know the one.
– Added hats
The drums beat out a crisp beat, urging their soldiers forward. Bom, bom bom bom. The microscopic soldiers have marched for two weeks without rest, laying siege to John’s immune system. They’ve sieged the nose, razed the throat, and left the stomach a burned husk, and yet they drive on. How much longer could this war go on, they wonder. Their wives are lonely. Their children are hungry. Bom, bom bom bom.
John has a fatal secret in this episode that he doesn’t reveal until it’s too late. Seriously, we discuss robot cookbooks fueled by neural network learning, including Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake and Chocolate Chips with Chocolate Chips, and the entire time John is harboring a secret that could threaten the very existence of the podcast. We even change topics to The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild on the Nintendo Switch and all of its intricate, interlocking systems, and John doesn’t once mention his terrible and dark secret. After a nice The Break featuring American Girl by Dumspell, spirits are low, but Breath of the Wild picks them up again along with a few other video games and a tiny discussion of the Mass Effect series, cause if Henry’s piloting this ship, we head into video game territory like 100% of the time. Only then, in the death throes of the episode, does John reveal his insidious secret before promptly tail-spinning into one of the most dramatic endings to a podcast since the season one finale. It’s all here, folks. Everything.
Music:
American Girl by Dumspell
https://dumspell.bandcamp.com/track/dumspell