Episode 59: The Terry-Crews-or-the-Egg Causality Dilemma

Zero Credit(s)
It’s fidget spinner o’clock on this culturally frozen episode of Zero Credit(s), and Henry and John are gonna dig deep. The specter of famed actor Terry Crews darkens the ZC doorstep once again this week, haunting the boys with visions of furniture and happiness. His specter is no match, however, for that of the Time Ghost, but the crew dispatches that ghoul just the same by wondering at the meaning of meaningless objects. To round out a pretty square podcast, What Did You Watch is back in FULL EFFECT with Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang’s exceptional Master of None. By the way, John had to Google what “NEAT” meant. C’mon.

 

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Episode 58: There’s No Good Name For This One

Zero Credit(s)

Listeners, Henry’s been getting headaches every day this week and headaches put Henry in a mental fog. You won’t be able to tell, since he is a performer, after all, but deep down in his head there lies the ebbing of an ache that dulls the senses to anything that’s not a slightly throbbing pain. And John’s here to pick up some of Henry’s slack. So this episode is a bit weird because of that. Renaissance Fairs, Wikipedia Games, Race, we discuss it all. I’m not knocking this episode. It’s the GC Zero Credits content you’ve come to know and enjoy, and there’s always better stuff coming.

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Episode 57: Monkey Japes 2017 Special

Zero Credit(s)

In their latest bid to obtain magic genie powers, Henry (Dave Schehazared) and John (Florence Grimble) cook up a harebrained new holiday: Monkey Japes. Join them as they tell a series of meaningless lies all in the name of sweet exotic magic. Move over Justin Arbor Day and Mr. Boston Cream Pie Day, these fellas are shakin’ it up. Much like John is shakin’ up his career with supplemental income, and Henry is shakin’ up your mind with invasive thoughts of chronic Lyme disease. Fill your heart with joyous mistruths, this week on Zer… (Action/Adventure, Animated, Brief Nudity, Prolonged Nudity)

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Episode 56: Ride the BUS

Zero Credit(s)

Woah howdy there, ya’ll, it’s time for the Zero Credit(s) Round Up! All the Gang’s here. Henry. John. The Sexy Executive Officer. We’ve got them all and they’ve got some grand ole fun for you, Dear Listener. It all starts when John explains that life is all just one big drinking game where you have to wager whether your card is black or red. Yep, that’s all life is. End of story. We then briefly reveal where Henry lives to showcase Master Pancake Theatre, but don’t worry about that cause the wild west isn’t nothin’ if it ain’t supportin’ Free Comic Book Day. Before you can even begin to flip that silver dollar to render it worthless by shooting through it, thus demonstrating both your sharpshooting skills and your opinions about centralized, government controlled currency, we’re boot deep in the Great British Bake Off. The calvary’s here and the Zero Credit(s) is as well, it’s high time for some podcast crime. Westerns.

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Episode 55: John Lied About Seeing Inception

Zero Credit(s)

Zero Credit(s) VR Experience Patch Notes 05/05/2017
– Fixed issue with horses
– Nobility has been reduced
– Added full simulation of cold medicine
– Improved writing of Christopher Nolan
– No longer possible to wiggle and fall through the earth
– Dreams may be closer than they appear
– Removed final rogue podcast
– Removed Marc Maron from simulation
– Fire no longer speaks
– Added civil unrest functionality
– Fixed crash issue when eating at THAT Starbucks. You know the one.
– Added hats

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Supplemental Reading: Logan

Supplemental Reading

It’s been a while since the last Supplemental Reading. 20 years, in fact. We’ve grown old. Our healing factors don’t work quite as well and the claws still hurt every time they come out. Come listen to John and Henry discuss the movie that’s so good, it hurts to watch. Every second is filled with pain. The movie’s pretty pain filled too. Be warned as there’s no mercy for those who haven’t seen the movie. Spoilers are our trade here. We’re no good at what we do, and what we do is also no good. Buckle up, bubs, and find out where Logan rates on the exclusive Zero Credit(s) scale.

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Episode 54: Red Ash and Dreams of Cash

Zero Credit(s)

The drums beat out a crisp beat, urging their soldiers forward. Bom, bom bom bom. The microscopic soldiers have marched for two weeks without rest, laying siege to John’s immune system. They’ve sieged the nose, razed the throat, and left the stomach a burned husk, and yet they drive on. How much longer could this war go on, they wonder. Their wives are lonely. Their children are hungry. Bom, bom bom bom.

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Episode 53: John Dies at the End

Zero Credit(s)

John has a fatal secret in this episode that he doesn’t reveal until it’s too late. Seriously, we discuss robot cookbooks fueled by neural network learning, including Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake and Chocolate Chips with Chocolate Chips, and the entire time John is harboring a secret that could threaten the very existence of the podcast. We even change topics to The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild on the Nintendo Switch and all of its intricate, interlocking systems, and John doesn’t once mention his terrible and dark secret. After a nice The Break featuring American Girl by Dumspell, spirits are low, but Breath of the Wild picks them up again along with a few other video games and a tiny discussion of the Mass Effect series, cause if Henry’s piloting this ship, we head into video game territory like 100% of the time. Only then, in the death throes of the episode, does John reveal his insidious secret before promptly tail-spinning into one of the most dramatic endings to a podcast since the season one finale. It’s all here, folks. Everything.

Music:
American Girl by Dumspell
https://dumspell.bandcamp.com/track/dumspell

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Less Than Zero 3: Every Man Is an Island . . . And That’s Okay

Less Than Zero

Listeners, it’s been a heck of a week and to top it all off, I (Henry) have to go into work today, which is Saturday. I work hard during the week. I like to think I earn my weekend. I put in 40+ hours, but that’s not enough. No. Here’s more hours during my weekend. So this episode is late. That’s all I want to say.

We talk about stuff. Here’s an episode. Let’s dance.

Music:

Underclocked by Eric Skiff

 

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Episode 52: Of Princes and Pumas

Zero Credit(s)

Greetings listener, to this weary episode of Zero Credit(s)! Henry and John crawl out of their respective corporate holes to deliver a bold prediction: capitalism will persist for six more weeks. That doesn’t stop John from getting uncharacteristically fired-up about Lucha Libre, though, as he schools Henry on the finer points of the seedy action of Lucha Underground. Ever wondered how high a coffee table should be? Worry not, because the boys call in a ringer for some intense interior design tips. All of this, and much more, is punctuated by the lovely music of Joshua Forrest during The Break. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

Music: On Misty Steppes by Joshua Forrest
soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/joshuacforrest/tracks

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