The Zero Credit(s) boys are mostly back this week with tales of their harrowing adventures through sickness and health. Henry’s sorta here after surviving covid (we edited out his coughs, to be sure), and John’s back from being in a different state, the state being Vermont. Not a lot of examining the zeitgeist in this one, folks. We’ll get back to the ole grind in a minute, but for now, let’s go over what happens when one has covid and when one visits Vermont. All, right here, on Zero Credit(s).
This episode was recorded last week – before Henry came down with Covid and John ran away to Vermont. So if things feel a little dated, at least you now know why. Henry’s been doing much better, by the way, and John’s still in Vermont. Regardless, let’s talk about Guy Fieri and his love of the band Rage Against the Machine. We also have some private jet discussion as well as a little update on a local alleged hitman hirer. All right here, on Zero Credit(s).
John is back from having Covid this week and boy is his mind just the Swiss-est of cheeses. Can he hang in there for our first inaugural 10-hour Marathon Episode? Probably not. The phones are still ringing folks, and they’ll keep ringing till the end of time. There’s nothing that can be done for them. We also have the latest hot takes on Joker 2: More Joker as well as whatever the heck John is on about when he starts ranting about Danny Elfman.
We’re back on track with Henry at the wheel for this week’s episode of Zero Credit(s) and the first stop is Taco Bell. Henry’s never had Taco Bell before, and John’s very interested in talking about that. Is the Crunch Wrap Supreme too dry, or Henry just a failure at eating Taco Bell? The world may legitimately never know. Then it’s on to the big question of the week – Will Austin City Limits Music Festival actually happen? We’re one month out and the special event permit has yet to be issued by the city and with covid cases on the rise, it’s a pretty serious question. We explore all angles of the question this week on Zero Credit(s).
In our third interim episode of Hot Godzilla Summer, the boys head back to the movies full of vaccine and dreams only to find out that movie theaters have become pockets of time from the before times. Trailers for movies thought long passed and gone play, triggering feelings from before the world went dark with fears of global pandemic. And apparently that’s going to just like continue as no “new” movies are coming out for at least a year, basically. Like they’re new movies to us, sure, but they were all announced and advertised with trailers and everything before the nation shut down. So it’s kinda like they aren’t new at all, you know?
Also, John gets really mad about some things toward the end of the episode that we said we weren’t going to talk about beforehand, but they just kinda came out any way. Whoops. Zero Credit(s)!
In our first interim episode during our Hot Godzilla Summer fest, it’s time to put the Oscars in the dirt where they belong. It’s a tired tradition that brings nothing of value to society other than letting the people involved know they do good work, which to be honest, most of them do in a way that it seems cruel to pick a winner out of them. We recap briefly the 93rd Academy Awards with this in mind and then quickly devolve into a cascading river of topics that include, John’s feelings about life after COVID and the gauntlet being thrown as Citizen Kane is dethroned as the greatest movie of all time. We have most of it right here, on Zero Credit(s), next week is Kong: Skull Island.
It’s not as though we set out each episode to talk about our current thoughts of the ongoing health crisis here in America, but it’s like, how can you not talk about it right now? Apologies to our fams in other countries who have dealt with it in a reasonable and professional manner, but the US is just shitting the bed with COVID on a daily basis, and that can be a tough thing to deal with day after day.
On a lighter note, there’s no way in hell you’re going to catch me dead paying $30.00 for the opportunity to see Mulan on Disney+. I can’t even think of a movie where that would be acceptable to me. I won’t even pay the $20.00 to see Troll World Tour, 2020’s only other movie. So, we share our thoughts on that, too. This week, on Zero Credit(s).
As we enter 2023 AC (After COVID), there is no entertainment left. Gone are the days of the unfinished but uplifting documentaries on Netflix. We are past the re-airing of old pilots by major cable networks. The days of the re-airing of shows canceled after one season is also past. Nothing is left. There is no hope. No distraction from the virus waging war on unsuspecting, bored individuals.
Suddenly a voice rings out in the darkness. “Hey guys, here I go streaming again.” It is Ninja, the most popular streamer. Behind him is an army of other just as well known streamers, all with their own content and style and branding. Ninja drops his arm, signaling the beginning of the assault and the rest of the streamers charge the field, armed with their channel’s emoticons and inside jokes. The ensuing battle for the cultural consciousness and entertainment of a nation devoid of both begins again, entering it’s 11th hour…
Also John’s really into QAnon now.
Come fall down a C-hole (covid-hole) with Henry and John as they fall into the pits of the current status of US Covid cases and land somewhere on that glorious red carpet of the 2020 Emmys. Zack Synder makes a special guest appearance.
In far off lands, there lives a tale of a large dog. For centuries, this large dog ate and ate as it pleased, smacking its lips on delicious treats. Then humans came to the large dog and told it that it could no longer eat. The big dog, sad, listened to the humans and stopped eating. Centuries passed and all seemed well. But slowly, the world became worse. Global warming. Disease. Quarantines outside of the Quarantine region of France. The large dog had been protecting humanity from these things for so long as its treats were carbon emissions and diseases.
So please. As John says. Let him be the first one to say, “Let the big dog eat.”